- I didn't really care about "Stronger (Back on the Ground)" the first time I heard Who I Am AND NOW I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO IT. It is like the end titles for a high school movie about ~being yourself~ and it pumps me up and makes me feel like I can take on the whole Empire myself! (second favourite song on the album. NOTHING BEATS "LAST TIME AROUND")

- Kevron Titanic AU is finally done \o/! ...though it still needs a heavy edit. also it might be 21,000 words aaaaahhhh it's longer than the movie. Anyone wanna beta a stupidly long Kevron fic whose working title is I'm On a Dolphin (Doing Flips and Shit)? (RELATED: kevronforevron)

- Why are things that normally I would hate on anyone else (...Nick), are just fucking wonderful when Joe does it? Awful douche glasses? Amazing. Ridiculous headband? So endearing. Cherry red bicycle? Baw. (This is also evidence I am filing away in my The Jonas Brothers Are Actually Time Travellers From The 1950s folder.)

People keep saying he's being a hipster douchebag though, and on some level I think -- I don't know, that this is somehow not ironic? A lot of the time I think their images are calculated poses (okay, I think a lo tof the time Nick has a calculated pose) but then Joe does something like this and I think... he's just an actual ridiculous doofus who is only vaguely aware how he comes off? He's a home-schooled, Bible-loving twenty-year-old virgin (who can't eat) who is maybe just as much a ridiculous dwonk as he seems to be. To be a hipster, there has to be some level of irony, and Joe... I think Joe just likes riding a shiny red bike with his bffs in L.A. (fic plz. liz_hollis, let's do it.)

How he's written always interests me, because even I like to indulge in the 'Joe is the free-thinking rebel who smokes pot and does shots and then makes out with his little brother.' But I think, the more we get little glimpses at his real life (pan-frying steaks? UGH JOE. Worst) the more I think he just loves the Bible and his family and this is the lamest fandom in the world. How much of this is a pose and how much of this is really just them being as lame as I think they might be.

Also, why is that Joe has a plethora of friends and Nick can't seem to find enough people who will tolerate him, obliging him to re-date girls of Christmas past? And -- does Kevin have any friends at all other than Danielle? Dwonks. They're all dwonks.

- I swear I don't ship Zac/Joe IT JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES. I'm just the messenger. Do not shoot the messenger.

- I have the housemate from hell and I want to destroy him with my FISTS. He eats my food, has woken me up at least once every night since he got here (two weeks ago) because of how fucking loud he is, fills my nice clean sinks with dirty dishes, and leaves caked-on food in pots on the stove -- idk, because he expects someone else to clean it? WERE YOU RAISED BY WOLVES, DICKWAD? (duia needs to unleash some fury on him.) This is not how you behave in a house with other people! If only I didn't hate confrontation so much BAWWWW. (Also, I caught his cold. I AM BLAMING GERMS ON HIM TOO.)

- so last time I posted was before the 3rd (oooomg forever) and the 4th (lame.) liveconcerts on February 2nd Best Day Ever. I KNOW EVERYONE TALKED ABOUT IT BUT, HEY THERE NICK AND JOE JONAS? THANKS FOR BEING IN LOVE IN PUBLIC. It was super creepy and weird and intimate hearing them on the phone together! Ugh, it was like one of the few times where they sounded natural and comfortable and themselves rather than but, HEARTS FOR EYES, guys. Hearts for eyes. How are they even real at all? How is this a thing? (Can we eavesdrop on ALL OF THEIR CONVERSATIONS???)

Nick: All right, love you dude. Talk to you later. Thanks for stopping in.
Joe: Love you too. Hi everyone on ustream. Get Nick's record if you haven't, it's really good. It's probably the best record ever.
Nick: [laughing] Thanks, bro.
Joe: Love you! Love you.
Nick You too, talk to you later. Bye.

ughhhh guyssss this fandom is so talented,smart,dreamy.. I love it.

- See, I needed February 2nd Best Day Ever for me to really appreciate Who I Am. Before I was like, oh hey this is an album, but now it's an album that I skipped out on school to watch livechats of a 17 year old boy performing the same 2 songs three times in various locations in California. Now the whole album is something else for me, and I like it like I love Jonas Brothers music because it's related to this wonderful fandom experience. Best day ever. As liminalliz said, remind me to cancel all my plans the next time Nick decides to release an album.

- So, I only ship Zac with Kevin really, but if I WAS going to ship Joe/Zac, it would kind of be like this. (ALSO, I really do have a type, don't I? Awkward, skinny, outgoing white boys with beautiful hair apparently.)

- WHAT IS THIS, groundhog day? INTERNATIONAL TINHAT DAY? The last twelve hours have been fucking fantastic (er, if you're in the fandom, sry pwentz fangirls?) and the Jonas Brother are just on their A-game or something. And by A-game I mean incest.(Put your brother to the test.)

- So last night I went to bed really early so I could get a full eight hours, but my asshole housemate woke me up by listening to TV really loudly at 3 in the morning and I couldn't get back to bed. So, frustrated, I went online to be annoyed and then THIS HAPPENED.


(Yes, my Twitter is in French, what of it?)

And then Demi retweeted it but then made fun of the fact Joe called Nick dreamy? I, in a panic, e-mailed pretty much every fandom person I had an e-mail for and then cheerfully went to bed. JOE JONAS HEALS SADNESS.

(HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN? I mean, tongue in cheek, SURE, but dreamy? Who are you, David Henrie? I hate you Joe Jonas.)

- AND THEN THERE WERE (TWO) LIVECONCERTS. The first one was fantatic. Very small, very very quiet crowd (they raised their hands to ask questions. I think this is mostly because the crowd was 90% college students skipping class to come see him. He really need to do an 18+ concert tour I'm just saying.) Let it be said: Sonny Thompson is a God. What amazing guitar playing, seriously. Why isn't he their permanent guitarist ;__; Nick looked happy and young and so into it which is just the way I like Nick Jonas. (Last Time Around, Rose Garden, Oliver & an Arrow, and Who I Am. These songs are so much better live it's not even funny.)

HOWEVER, DURING QUESTION TIME (omg secondhand embarrassment. What's your favourite mustard, Nick?) some chick asks him where his Bros are. Kevin is in Texas gettin' money gettin' laid, Frankie is asleep. "And Joe is" (biggest, smirkiest smile) "doing something, somewhere." (So dreamy!)

Second concert same the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse. EXCEPT THAT HE GOT ROSES FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME. What the actual fuck? Nick Jonas what are you? (a Highlander?) Setlist: Rose Garden, Who I Am, 10000000 hours of him handing out roses, question time. Nick Jonas is the worst.

- VIDEO (I won't embed it because today has basically been like the day Bounce came out which is the best and I'm sure you can find it on your own. HE NEEDS TO COVER ALL OF POKER FACE RIGHT NOW)

i'm unable, i'm unable to see pas his facade of bluffing. fah-fah-fah-facade of bluffing.

(i hate nicholas jerry jonas.)

- January is testing me basically to my limits. So many things have gone wrong in the last three weeks and I'm having a hard time bouncing back recently. The last stroke was my keyboard shitting out on me last night making any fic writing incredibly difficult. So if I slow down (a lot) you'll know why... Yeah, I'm sure I'm just whining, but ugh thank God it's February, that's all I can say.

- ugh I want to bury myself in Jonas and wrap it around me like a blanket and ignore the real world. (Rational, duh.) But now Nick J and the A have finished their tour and, like the end of all their tours, I just feel whiny and irritable that we don't have updates every day about Nick jerking off during Stay and Michael Bland (ilu) being the best.

But we got a good send off (WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS???) Joe and Kev join Nick for "Who I Am"


Auuuuughhhh this videooooo so many feelings.
- Joe singing verses of "Who I Am" reminds me of why I love Joe singing so much more than Nick. He makes it so colourful and vibrant, I want to make out with it. He does, however, try and turn this song into a Jonas Brothers song which I find hilarious and wonderful.
- And since Joe is singing one of Nick's song, he consequently forgets the lyrics (JOOEEEEEE joeeee you definitely got sentenced to batting pratice for that one.)
- at 2:30 there's a point where all three of the brothers are center stage singing and playing their hearts out and FFFFF this is why I love them so much, them being the best boys in the world. S'why we're here, right.
- 2:50 TIN-HATS: ON. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG (false, do not correct me) but at 2:50 does Nick sing "I want someone to love me" and then point at Joe?. Yes, he does. He really does.
- 4:18 Fissst buuuuump followed by the best brotherly hug in the whole world at 4:44. Ugh, Nick pulling Joe in to his side and Joe's hand lingering on the small of his back. Never break up omg why am I thirteen.

- (kevronforevron)

- So, those VMan photos of Nick being in The Outsiders/Johnny Cash/James Dean (Nick/James Dean FUCK ALEX STOP) came out and my reaction: ehhhhhh... I just don't think it suits him in any capacity? He's a pretty naturally pretty guy, so the slicked hair just makes his face look odd. SORRY. This isn't one battle in my war of attrition against my love for Nick, and I seem to be the only person in the world who thinks he looks odd. I mostly think it's the photographer's fault though; he should be ~highlighting Nick's natural looks or something idk I'm trying to be less gay in 2010.

BUT JOE? JOE BE LOOKING FOINE PEOPLE. TIME FOR A MONTAGE OF JOE LOOKING GORGEOUS IN 2010~

- Nick Jonas and the Administration's album leaked and I listened to it and ( I have some feelings about it. )

- kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron! kevronforevron!

- JOSEPH ADAM JONAS. What is up with that kid, right? (AND WHO IS THE ONE WRITING ME JOE/LISA/JESS POLYGAMY FIC??? WHO IS THAT PERSON?) My thoughts on the interview: ??? I do not see the fuss? Joe is basically like "idk idk what's happening idk 2010 is probably gonna be pretty chill but we're not going anywhere idk Nick wants to ruin all news of my possible sexual conquests idk I met Daniel Craig and I want Alex to write a fic about that time we got into a really heavy sexual relationship" (GUESS WHICH PART I MADE UP. I'm still writing that fic though.)

I don't think they're breaking up! I've been in this fandom for a year and a bit and this is like the seventh time we've done this dance. This dance is not a very interesting dance anymore, guys! I don't dance (I know you can!) Not a chance!

Also IF worse comes to worse and there is some kind of ~brotherly divorce~ I think they have more longevity as solo acts (that's what she said) so we'd just have a fandom similar to the one we're experiencing now. And this fandom isn't a terrible fandom! Sure Nick Jonas forgets his brother's twitter name, but then Joe goes on to have INTENSE WORKOUT SESSIONS with other men.

(I'm also having that problem where I'm suddenly following like TWELVE new people on twitter just so I can see Joe flirt with them. Joe/Everyone.)

- OH RIGHT AND THIS HAPPENED. This happened, guys! WHAT, DOES THIS BRING OUR OFFICIAL KEVIN/ZAC EVENT COUNT TO FOUR? YES IT DOES:

- Thank Christ it's Friday. This has been the week from hell. Today ended with me getting into a really passive aggressive e-mail war with the glorified TA who has been allowed to teach me Diversity in the Classroom which devolved into him basically just attacking my character. I don't want to attend his class anymore but it's past the drop date. TIME TO RUN AWAAYYY. (There's irony somewhere in the Diversity teacher offending me.) Ffffuck this.

- ...that being said, I'm pretty stoked that Conspiracy Theory (falsetto screeeeeam) leaked because it is basically pure gold. Yes, the live version is better, but I'll take studio over incessant screaming. It's so noodley! Full of noodles. (Are the lyrics about one night stands or aliens OR ONE NIGHT STANDS WITH ALIENS?)

- Sorry, but I'm fully on board with Nick/Selena. I don't know why because, well, Selena isn't really the most interesting girl on the market but they seem oddly suited to each other? (Also: hot sex.) Besides, anyone that can get Nick in that ridiculously gorgeous wool peacoat and Chucks earns a hundred gold stars. (Also, the history with DAVID HENRIE and David tweeting JOE and not gonna lie I love how much fucking DRAMA is going on with those guys. Now all Joe needs to do is date Lucy Hale and this basically becomes Gossip Girl.)

- KEVRONATHON SOON? It's been MONTHS since the last Kevron Fic Fest. Who is in for KEVRON SEXY JOY TIMES? Also, why is there no Kevron LJ Community? I want to make one but I feel like I would end up calling it beautyandthebeast. Any Kevron community name ideas?

kevronforevron kevronforevron kevronforevron kevronforevron kevronforevron kevronforevron

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE FAVOURITE, misskittye. ilu babe.

- Obviously I'm just guessing but my friend kinda pointed out correctly that this is probably the longest time Joe and Nick have spent apart... ever (Bible camps and Missions to Mexico notwithstanding) and since I'm all freshly ~renewed with fandom spirit (f u Nick Jonas and your horrifyingly endearing new music and attitude.) Good times. (jfc what is it about this fandom that makes me SO GAY ;___;)

- I'm back at school (...and not loving it) but today was kind of awesome because I began working on my History Curriculum Independent Study. One of the options available to me is writing a 5000 word piece of historical fiction. Yeah, so now I may or may not be writing Band of Brothers fanfic (Lieb/Web foxhole cuddling) for 30% of my overall mark in an actual class. As you do.

- I can't believe I somehow haven't actually written it yet, BUT HOLY HELL NICK/JOE/DEMI. Not only was it the first time Nick apparently realized Joe had a twitter (LOVE YOU GUYS), but he spent it missing him. They are my favourite, favourite threesome (and I like a lot of threesomes) and seriously, just fuck, fuck forever. Now I need thousands of words of Rodeo-themed bisexual outmaking. (cmon sexy cowboy incest.)

- idk what's up with Joe but lord do I like it. He's all hanging out at A-list parties looking devastatingly attractive (those eyelashesss) while plaintively trying to get Nick to talk to him online, simultaneously trying to date what seems like ALL of the west coast (JOE/DAVID, YOU MAKE MY HEART SOAR. Thousands of words; THOUSANDS) and a good chunk of the east. He's all roguish and beautiful now and I feel the strict Jewish guilt I should for ever thinking I could abandon him for that other dude w/e his name is.



Also, dude be looking strict mafioso recently. FIC WRITING FEELINGS~ I have them.

- I am writing a Kevron Titanic AU where Zac is Jack, Kevin is Rose, and -- Joe is Molly Brown? Joe is Molly Brown. idek what my life is anymore.

- ETA: OH, the help_haiti is finishing... soon? so last chance to bid for me to be your fic bitch, donate here!

- OKAY I GUESS I HAVE TO POST THIS BAWWWWWW.

The first FIVE TEN F-FIFTEEN? people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. (If you absolutely can't write, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to offer drawings or icons or something instead.)

1. thisissirius: Nick/Enzo/Joe
2. rebelde33: Joe Lucas/Macy or Joe Jonas/Nicole Anderson
3. mangojellytoast: Joe/DHen/Chelsea
4. hector_rashbaum: Zac/Kevin
5. liz_hollis: Nick/Joe/Demi
6. kandkl: Nick/Joe
7. squigglepie: Nick/Joe
8. yenetai: Joe/David
9. liminalliz: Joe/Nick/Chelsea
10. somewhatgolden: Joe/Nick tourwife
11. rudhampaiel: Nick/David
12. roadmarks: Ryan Ross/David
13. misskittye: Joe/Daniel Craig
14. that_1_incident: Nick/David Archuleta (...someone tell me who he is?)
15. forevernew: Joe/Nick tweetsex (is that like sexting?)

ahahaha oh fuck. I was talking to th_esaurus about the CCAs last night and how I wanted to write something about it and somehow it descended into talk about filthy, filthy porn about Nick being physically turned on by performing and then Joe fucks him backstage? So this is all her fault is what I'm trying to say.

Title: last cigarettes are all you can get
Pairing: Joe/Nick
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3065
Warnings: PWP, incest, just generally questionable.
Summary: Nick's never satisfied with a performance, ever. He's always jacked up after every show, running on the heat of things he should have done or songs that didn't go quite like he planned. Tonight is no different; if anything tonight is worse and Nick is wrenched tight as a spring, looking at Joe for some kind of relief.
Disclaimer: If you googled your own name and found this page, I probably wouldn't read it if I were you.
Author's Notes: Tried to write porn? idk idk. If you are friends with me in real life, or from another fandom, I'd probably skip out on this one, son. Title from Wilco's "Jesus Etc."

( last cigarettes are all you can get )

So remember that time we were all writing entries in Joe Jonas' Very Secret Password Diary and I was saying how I began writing Joe Jonas like T-Rex from Dinosaur Comics?

Yeah, we can blame this one on th_esaurus.



JOE REX IS A COMPLICATED GUY. i can't believe i spent two hours making this fuuuuuuck

- If I haven't said it enough before oh man oh man I love this fucking fandom. (TSWIFT FOLLOWING NICK. IT'S AMAZING, OK?) There's Nick getting all up on everyone's exgirlfriend (lolol the climb) and there's Joe... idek anymore, but clearly he is the best. I love how Nick goes on tour and fandom collectively decides Joe becomes a sarcastic alcoholic bamf who is probably fucking Cardigan Boy (REVEALED TO BE idk some gay dude I don't care about.)

I NEED THEORIES, GUYS. Why is Nick covering Taylor Swift? (BROS BEFORE HOS, DUDE.) Why is Taylor following him on Twitter? Why is Joe so goddamn fine? (Why is David in love with Lorenzo?) MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE.

ANYWAY.

I have that feeling like when you know a storm is coming. The horizon goes dark even though it's the middle of the day, the birds are flying everywhere in anticipation, the wind starts to pick up making the windchimes ring menacingly. You know, like that scene at Aunt Meg's house in Twister?

THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT: Nick Jonas and Joe Jonas tweeting each other for the first time. When will it happennn? (And by tweeting each other I mean cowboy up Nick and tell Joe you love him.)

bllllrgh. Joe, take a less from your friend David Henrie and use Twitter correctly. (Haha, seriously, I'm not kidding about how January is INTERNATIONAL INCEST MONTH)

- (Can someone tell me why I am shipping Joe/Chelsea so hard it hurts? WHY AREN'T THEY IN LOVE. They should be in love.)

- (Nick Jonas' Nipple. Happy Thursday.) (Fine.. I'll stay!)

- HA HA REMEMBER WHEN I HATED TWITTER. Where would we be without twitter? Stalking people with binoculars and night vision goggles is so much harder. How is this entire post about Twitter?

- Because it's not! help_haiti is happening which is awesome and everyone should go and donate and make people write us Jonas fic for days. I had hang ups about it at first but I threw my hat into the ring so you should go make me write you fic in a very D/s sugar daddy type charitable arrangement.

- I'm sure I had other things to talk about but JOSEPH ADAM JONAS got a motherfucking Twitter AND THE WHOLE WORLD CREAMED THEMSELVES WITH JOY. As Hannah said, Twitter was basically invented so Joe Jonas would have an opportunity to say wonderfully inappropriate things about his little brother in a public forum.

AND SO FAR HE'S GOTTEN OFF TO A GREAT START (see how I didn't post a picture? It's like that time "Bounce" came out and NINETEEN POSTS IN A ROW were linking that video. That was pretty awesome, flist.)

(NO, I AM NOT SITTING HERE REFRESHING NICK'S "FOLLOWING" PAGE. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK IF I'M DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT. GOD, get a life, MOM. And GET OUT of my my ROOM, JEEZ.)

I mean, the fandom hivemind collectively just assumed "Stay" was about Joe, admittedly I feel like we were mostly tongue in cheek about it, BUT REALLY JOE? REALLY? On your second Tweet EVER you are going to assume responsibility for the love song that Nick is killing himself onstage singing every night (and wrote the one day you didn't come to his shows, I might add) and is currently doing an impromptu studio session to record? This is what you're going to do? Cause I wouldn't throw that idea out of bed, just saying.

TWEETER OR TWATTER WHATEVER THAT NEW THING IS.



- I think I had other things to talk about. Nick Jonas idk? He's pretty cool too I guess. Won't lie, I kind of loved that night when he kept singing SYMBOLIC AND ALSO MEANINGFUL SONGS about his brother and his various ex-girlfriends. This while Joe is back home not shaving and doing Jello shots until he gets drunk enough to wail context-modified Alanis Morissette lyrics into his voicemail. (THE CROSS-EYED BEAR THAT NICK GAVE TO HIM.)

(I REALLY WANT TO WRITE BITTER TOUR FIC, AND THEN I WANT TO CALL IT SGT. JONAS' LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND. That is what I want to do.)

I'm basically just writing journalism at this point. Time for a new issue of the Totally True News.

- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

oh man THE NEXT FEW WEEKS ARE GOING TO BE AMAZINGGGGG.

- liketheroad wrote a new fic called I've got (the two of you) \o/ \o/ It has FRAT BOYS and David Henrie and threesomes and college and Lindsay Fünke's SLUT shirt and probably waffles. If you've seen GREEK, Joe is basically Cappie and THAT IS ENOUGH TO WIN MY HEART FOREVER. Read it, immediately.

I give up.

I've tried hard, but - but I cannot take it anymore. I've resisted, I've mocked, I've ridiculed (ALL FOR, I THINK, VERY GOOD REASONS) but, for the month of January - AND ONLY FOR THE MONTH OF JANUARY - I... I will be a Nick boy. (JOE, I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. I'm just going on a vacation.)

So uh. Now that I'm a Nick boy, what do I do? Is there a club? Secret naked pictures? What are the perks here, kids?

Ugh, how did it get to this point? Three short weeks ago I thought he was a self-obsessed turdface, and now? Well, I still think he's a self-obsessed turdface but he's so HAPPY and TALENTED and clearly in love with what he's doing and I CANNOT COPE WITH HOW SINCERE HE IS. He is IMMUNE to my mocking him. He is just as ridiculous as always but for some reason in the context of this amazing tour, I am just enchanted by his endearing little face and every noise that comes out of it. Even his weird lounge singer voice. Ugh, have some self-respect, Alex.

Like maybe this good quality version of his cover of "Use Somebody" which is maybe giving me FEELINGS. Kings of Leon SHOULD NOT GIVE ME FEELINGS. Nick Jonas gives me feelings :(

Oh, also, this.



Also that. Uh, definitely that.

NICK JONAS. Please fire JT, Garbo & co. AND PLEASE HIRE THE ADMINISTRATION FOREVER. Ugh, I love the hell out them so much (MICHAEL BLAND ILU) and Nick sounds so much better with a talented backing band to support him on stage. Seriously, the quality of music (AND GUITAR SOLOS ♥____♥) is amazing.

NICK JONAS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MEEEEE

YULETIDE. Like we all suspected, this fandom being so incestuous, we all kind of got each other mostly, didn't we? I got pwincess which made me both nervous and excited (so I started singing a song called Nervous but Excited. I am abusing this joke.) I loved her prompts and I ended up writing Sonny with a Chance, which was kind of an adventure? I kind of liked the whole experience and I also kind of really wanna write Sonny/Chad Dylan Cooper porn now. Oh Sonny with a Chance, why are you such an inconsistent show?

Mega huge thanks to liminalliz and mangojellytoast for being amazing betas and turning this into something pwincess might like on very, very short notice. Also thank you to lakeeffectgirl and liketheroad for listening to me complain for weeks.

Title: It's that old devil moon in your eyes
Fandom: Sonny with a Chance
Pairing: Sonny/Chad Dylan Cooper
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5498
Warnings: sarcasm and kissing
Summary: "It's the studio's annual Snowflake Ball. It's the place to be seen. You can stop pretending like you don't want to show up at the most anticipated event of the year. And this way you can go with television's own Chad Dylan Cooper and maybe someone will take a picture of you in a dress. And spell your name right." He pauses for effect. "Maybe."

( It's that old devil moon in your eyes )

- Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! I have not been posting because I am too busy LIVING (read: living means getting drunk and talking about the Jonas Brothers in real life. As you do.) I hope you all had a comfy and enjoyable holidays and I hope 2010 turns out to not be sucky! Ball's in your court, 2010. (NEW LAYOUT to celebrate the new year! My default icon is Nick! Shut up!)

- SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. First and foremost HEY THERE KEVIN, HAPPY MARRIAGE. I mean yes it happened weeks ago but Jesus Christ those pictures are kind of the best pictures to be pictured. Maybe even slightly better than owning the People magazine though, was buying it.

As you might have known, I was in Kingston visiting liketheroad and halflinen with thepodsquad over New Years. On the 31st we went out to buy the magazine, both Hannah and I. Here is basically what happened.

Cashier: (looking at Hannah's magazine) Oh, I guess he's not gay then!
thepodsquad: No, not gay.
Cashier: All the girls must be upset he's getting married.
(thepodsquad finishes her order, I'm next with mine.)
Cashier: OH! You too?
Me: ...yep.
Cashier: You must be heartbroken.
Me: ...oh, for sure.
Cashier: Maybe you could try some voodoo to get him back.
Me: ...thankyoubye.

Best cashier ever. But seriously, MALE JONAS FANS: OUR LIVES ARE SO HARD that's what she said. Ugh, what a good trip though. I love this fandom and thank God I met the amazing girls I have. Why so awesome, Jonas fans.

- I guess I have to talk about ~Nick Jonas and the Administration~ now. So I've basically been on the Express Train to Mocking Nick Jonastown over the last month but uh, I admit when I'm wrong and good lord was I straight-up wrong. The videos that came out last night were so fucking incredible.

It's Nick J, doing his thang, playing music he wants to play with a genuinely talented backing band (FINALLY.) You go, Nick Jojo. The music was tight, "Inseparable" was A-MA-ZING Jesus Christ. I don't even LIKE Kings of Leon but he knocked "Use Somebody" out of the motherfucking park. Of the new songs, I basically wanna make out forever with "Conspiracy Theory" and "State of Emergency". UGH WHY AM I SO EXCITED FOR THIS ALBUM.

There was just a point in the videos when Nick looked just... small, all of seventeen, young and talented and having a great time. Those are the kind of Jonas Brothers I love best, when they show their age, when they rock out and blow away my expectations.

HOW DO I FIND TICKETS JFC. The closest show is Minneapolis which is eight hours away and I don't have a car and it's in the middle of the week BUT I AM REALLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW because unffff. (I h8 u liz_hollis and rudhampaiel, bring me with u)

(You are still not my favourite fuuuuuuck youuuu. Ugh. You win this round, Nick Jonas... you win this round.)

(OH ALSO, JOE/CHELSEA. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CAP'N)

- CHRISTMAS EVE. I might be a Jesus-killing Jew but I love me some motherfucking Christmas. My family's tradition is Chinese food and The Nightmare Before Christmas (IT'S A CHRISTMAS MOVIE. I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO SAYS IT'S HALLOWEEN) and then watch the Alastair Sim version of A Christmas Carol. Christmas!!! (I should probably wrap my gifts, shouldn't I.)

- So, th_esaurus is basically the best girl, and sometimes we spend time writing entries from ( Joe Jonas' Very Secret Diary )

- As like, the ~worst Christmas present ever, I have a Kevin/Zac outtake from my Mafia fic (hey there lakeeffectgirl, you're not the only one writing outtakes to fics that aren't even written yet...) A little background: Zac is the orphaned son of one of the Family's old capos, so Mr. Jonas takes him into their house and sends him to college and promised not to let Zac get involved in the Mafia. Kevin is heir to the Family and very much in the Mafia. ~2000 words of stupid.

( SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO BE A MOBSTER AND ALSO IN LOVE WITH A BOY. )

- MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (no homo)

- So, being home for the holidays has given me like, no extra time to do anything. The only time I'm online is to recover from my hangover. I haven't stopped running around since I got here. Tonight, me and my boys are having a Band of Brothers marathon (um, my reasons being vastly different from theirs. Also: LIEBGOTT) and getting drunk which is lovely. In a week thepodsquad will be flying here and we are going to go hit up liketheroad and halflinen. I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS.

- I FINISHED MY YULETIDE. A day early, even.

(Now to finish Harlequin ha ha ha ;_____;)

(All I really want to be writing is Joe Jonas' Very Secret Password Journal because goddamn guys was that not the BEST INTERVIEW EVER?

Dear diary, I want to kiss Nick. No, not like a brother, diary, like I want to kiss his mouth. I know, right? What should I do, diary? I will take your silence as permission to kiss him.

Dear diary, Nick changed in front of me today. He has the cutest butt. Friiiiiig.

Yes, I'm fully aware Joe's diary voice is T. Rex from Dinosaur Comics.)

- It is just about my one year OH HEY, I LOVE THESE JONAS PEOPLE anniversary. It was just after Christmas last year when I flew to Newfoundland and coppertone - as a joke - bought me the Rolling Stone poster and somehow I switched almost instantly from intense hatred to intense love. One year! Jesus Christ, it doesn't feel like it's been that long at all but here I am, making fun of Kevin's floral booty shorts and listening to "Much Better" like I'm being paid to.

(Okay but seriously, FLORAL BOOTY SHORTS ON YOUR HONEYMOON. Just. God, never ever change Kevin Jonas.)

(Also, dude's got legs right up to his neck, dude's making me a physical wreck.)

- ( End of the year fanfic meme thing. )

- I'm done. Five weeks being a full-time grade 8 teacher in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, five weeks of feeling like both the best person alive and the worst (often simultaneously!), five weeks of bonding with twenty-one kids who will stay with me for the rest of my life, five weeks of FAILING EPICALLY and then getting 13 year old rural stuents to get enthusiastic about Shakespeare with me, five weeks of tearing myself to bits. I'm done.

I'M DONE for three months and then I do it all over again.

Okay, okay Alex, this isn't an Academy Awards speech. Seriously though, thank you for all being the best people around? This was kin of my life-line to sanity (and sometimes insanity?) when I got home and just needed to disconnect. ♥ you all.

And now, tomorrow morning at 11 am, I fly back home and crawl into a warm snuggly world where no one demands a million things of me every hour. And Kevin Jonas gets married while I do it. BEST DAY EVER? QUITE POSSIBLY.

- My Yuletide is now 4k words and I'm feeling a teeny bit better about it now, even though she will probably still hate it! At least now Yuletide will be the only thing making me insane.

- Ugh, but Joe moving out? As upset as I am I really want that fic of Joe calling Nick every night asking for him to come over and hangout, and when Nick shows up Joe's house is full of unpacked boxes and none of the walls are painted and it's like Joe didn't really want to move out but he felt he needed to? So Nick spends evenings and weekends helping Joe unpack and decorate and then OUTMAKING HAPPENS? Outmaking happens.

- ETA: Also, what the fuck is this Jonas Christmas message? Is this the Nick Jonas I once knew? Is this really the reptilian space robot with no feelings making up new lyrics to Christmas songs in support of Team Jonas? I think the headband must be cutting off oxygen to his brain because if JOE JONAS is looking at you like what you're doing is ridiculous, you're doing something wrong.

I THINK IT'S TIME TO POST LOTS OF THESE.

- The wedding is Saturday? The wedding is Saturday? Oh God, apparently I am the most invested because somehow I am nervous for him? Nervous but excited. I want to start singing a song called Nervous But Excited. Also, my statute about DYING if there are no pictures still stands. Please, just one of Kevin: The Happiest Goddamn Boy would make my life. It's been such a Nick Jonas sausagefest round these parts (ugh, I should not contribute to this orgy) so I could use some motherfucking PKJ2 in my life.

(Gimme some goddamn Kevron At The Wedding fic, please, Christ, I need some Kevron in my eyes. Happy, sad, threesome, idec. I think when I get back to school in January I will do a new Kevronfest. KEVROOOON. Somehow my love for Kevin/Danielle does not ever interfere the true love that is Kevron.)

- Okay, so I was all, baw Yuletide before, but I'm I'm legit starting to get panicked over it. It's 3000 words and I can see the end but every time I go over it I basically think it is the worst fucking thing ever put on paper. I do not have the sanity for this! Hold my hand?

- ONE DAYYYYYYYYYYYY

- For some reason, I didn't mention Nick Jonas' tweeting the lyrics to a new song, Vesper's Goodbye. Vesper as in Vesper Lynd? Vesper Lynd as in the love interest of the Jonas Brothers Favourite Ever Movie Casino Royale?

Does this mean that Nick Jonas is casting himself James Bond in this metaphorical story about how a girl managed to crack the cold, hard shell of his secret agent fucking seventeen year old heart?

As I've said before, since apparently no one is taking Nick Jonas seriously, he has to do it ALL BY HIMSELF.

- IN CELEBRATION OF THEORETICAL WEDDINGS? BAWWW.

- four more days ommmmggggg I love my kids (they made me a card filled with inside jokes :D) but fuck I cannot wait to be home and have my bed and have a hug and be a happy-go-lucky child again who can write porn in peace.

- Making me sane: watching The Sopranos like I'm getting paid to do it. Goddamn, Gangster stuff might be overtaking Westerns as my favourite genre trope... but ffffuck is it ever making me crave writing Jonas Brothers Mafia Fic again (goddamn, that story is over 6 months old now, I might as well just post what I have cause it ain't ever gonna be finished.)

- YULETIIIDDEEEE. I put my jonas_harlequin aside for a while to work on my Yuletide and goddamn I love what I'm doing but also crying and shaking because she's gonna haaaaaate it. Dilemma!

- So we all be straight trippin' over Joe Jonas Tinhat Weekend (I have yet to listen to that interview yet, baw) but why is no one reposting the fuck out of this morning's Joe tweet?



So, Joe Jonas: Tour Girlfriend is basically a go. Dude isn't shaving, dude is relaxing all the fucking time, hanging out with his little superstar brother, going golfing cause he's whiny and bored. I hope this continues for the WHOLE month of January and Joe goes to every show and wears sweatpants and tries to make lasagna for him and cuddles him against Nick's will. WRITE 139,093,347 WORDS OF THIS??

- Speaking of that motherfucker Nick Jonas. I love Joe Jonas best but Nick is slowly, consistently whittling down my cold cold heart (and also my soul) by being the most adorable, sincere, ridiculous freak of nature ever. Dude should not be looking this good at seventeen, goddamn. And I take back everything I said about the headband cause he's for sure rocking it now.



Motherfucker.